So she knew it could have been goodbye but she didn't think it would be forever...
He stood there shirtless, laughing at the sound of her giggling. He knew she couldn't resist him but this time...she did.
She told him to never be a stranger. "Nobody's dying, I'm not going anywhere." She remembers the last time she heard that. He can't say those things to her. Who knew he would make a decision only a month later that made her heart shatter into a million pieces.
She fell in love with every part of him. From how soft his skin felt, to the wrinkle in his smile, to the way those brown eyes squinted so heavily just to make her realize how serious he really was. To his "go get'er" attitude, his goals and I guess his scrumptious body had something to do with it too. There were many more things that made her fall but only a few she could admit. He brought out a different side in her, a side she didn't even know she had. A confident, brighter side. She was so glad to know he wasn't leaving like he planned. Suddenly, taking those far trips out of the city to see him didn't seem so bad afterall.
"Mark this day. I am going to marry that man."
She was so positive...Something he had made her out to be...How fast her words crumbled.
"Girlfriend moved in."
Que the sound of every violin in the world playing as her hearts generator slowly starts to speed up and her anxiety kicks in which leaves her crying on the bathroom floor while trying to breathe with every little bit of power she had left over...
All it took was one conversation. That one person to sit there and say, everythings gonna be alright. With the feeling he gave her she could light up the darkest tunnel.
He got her through the hard times. He wasn't there for it all but when he was, he made up for it.
"Do you remember the time we fell asleep together...Well, I fell asleep but you just laid there beside me until you finally caught some shut eye?"
Why would he say that? Why does he have to bring that up? How could she forget.
She pretended she was sleeping just so she wouldn't wake him up. She sat there while he snored on his back and talked in his sleep when he laid on his side. She wasn't a psycho, she was just what some people call a "night owl."
** Skip to approximately 4 mths later **
"Last I heard, he moved to New York with his girlfriend."
This feeling was different. She didn't migrate to her bathroom floor as quickly as the last time so she could bawl her eyes out. Well, only because she had to keep her composure considering she was in public. Instead she didn't feel anything. It was as if her heart sighed and just said "There goes another one." Her mind was that friend who doesn't necessarily want to say "I told you so" but stands there rolling their eyes because they're just waiting for you to make the same mistake again. Then you have her eyes. Which are probably the only part of the body that can feel at this point but even they are numb to the random tears she's been letting out over anything to do with love & letting go.
So she doesn't cry. She patches up yet another wound. She contemplates ever opening up to anyone again, which is already a hard thing to do and then she gets up and she keeps walking. Knowing that as much as she hate's love right now, it's one hell of an addiction and she can't possibly think of doing anything other than that itself.
