She's scared too...

You think you're alone in this world. You think nobody knows your pain. In times like this the scars lie on the outside. The wounds ache after every thought and after every memory. You're able to feel happy for every accomplishment you make but eventually that feeling torments you because you almost feel too late. Maybe you could have done this sooner. So that you could actually see if they're really proud of you or not. Maybe if you didn't waste so much time on other things that really didn't matter, you would have had more time.
Sometimes the best way to feel is alone. Sometimes it's the only way to battle your only enemy which is you. The only thing is, no matter how much you want to play the victim. You're not the only one...

She lost someone too...She lost a few...She knows how it felt to not be able to say goodbye. She knows how it feels to wonder why he hasn't come to visit in her dreams. She lost the man that she probably would have brought home to her family. The one person who loved every part of her. Who promised her tomorrow and the day after that...
She knows how it feels to have unanswered questions. To wonder why? Why him? Why didn't I have more time? Why was he standing there? So many more questions, no answers. She lives in fear that the next person she gets close to will disappear just as fast. That there will be more pain and more unanswered questions.
She hates goodbyes period. She hates letting go. She holds on so hard to men who portray the littlest bit of what he was and prays they won't leave her. She wonders when she'll catch a break or when she'll get a sign.

But it's been almost four years. Four years without his face. Four years without his laugh and four years without the sound of his voice. She hasn't woken up with a smile on her face in a long time.
She's not over it. She still loves him and she misses him terribly. She knows that no man will ever compare to him. She deserves someone who appreciates her for everything she's done. Who isn't a coward and fights for love.
She knows life is unfair. She's gone through it more than once and trust me, she's scared too...
But with life comes lessons. With these lessons we learn to live. For some it's easy, for others it's not.

Take your time but this isn't the end.
With death comes life.
With tears comes laughter.
With pain comes comfort.

There's always something else to be grateful for.
Life is really that simple...


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This post was inspired while listening to Jessie J - Who You Are.
Check her out! She's awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHYhErv_fWQ&feature=fvw

She stands alone...

This is something I found in my notebook from a while ago...

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She stands alone in front of her bathroom mirror as the tears run down her face. It's the one place where she can let all her feelings pertrude out of her. As she washes her face, each tear is masked from the water cascading from the sinks spout. The heat grazing her cold skin gives her a good sensation. Every hair stands up and chills go down her spine. She smiles for a second with a sense of relief because in that moment of weakness, when sometimes all you feel is numb... She actually felt good. From there she moves to the bed where she can wrap herself in warm blankets and lay her head on her pillow and pray that tonight her thoughts won't keep her awake but will instead let her dream of being happy again...

save you...

Your tears are not her fault.
They're your own.
She can't be who you want her to be
and save you from yourself at the same time.